Unfinished Business...

What with living in Manchester before I came to the USA, I was rather used to the general building site atmosphere that pervaded the city - what with it being a major up and coming part of the North-West of England. You couldn't go down any street without seeing either something being put up, torn down, redesigned, reimagined, and any combination thereof. What you could also see was any number of builders feverishly working away. The same seems to be true of Charleston in some respects. Whilst there are perhaps not so many building projects on the go as in Manchester, those that are (such as the new hospital opposite my work) have gone up incredibly quickly. The same goes for the new apartments being built a stone's throw away from my work (that will no doubt be snapped up by new doctors, mark my words). Anyway, in both cities, it has to be said that the same is not true of the roads.

Now previously on this blog, I have had cause to bitch immensely about the state of both roads and pavements. If you can really call them that. My father has now had the joys of being driven down some of the Charleston roads, and he can tell you just as well as I that they are somewhat lacking in surface, and somewhat overflowing with potholes. So imagine my joy when, on the day of his departure, the road was closed - and they were obviously taking off the old surface with a view to redoing it. Well, that was what i hoped. A week later, and they FINALLY decided to put a new layer. Only for them to cover half of the road and leave the other half twice as bad as it was before. Well, would you believe that it STILL is only half done. After nearly two and a half weeks. I can. I now am fervently hoping that they manage to complete the job before my NEXT visitors arrive. Which will probably be in late 2007!! Keep your fingers crossed.

Economic Models with Cows

A little something that my friend Fiona sent from Manchester. I passed copies round my lab and it had us all laughing. Enjoy!!

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows because you're sobering up and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINA CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
A WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

I particularly like the American, Japanese, Russian, British and Welsh Corporations.

Apologies

Dear constant reader (if there are any),

I'm sure you've been wondering about the lack of posts this week. This is partly cause of that little ol' thing called work - the usual thing that interferes with my days of procrastination and thinking up things to talk about on here. Owing to some rather pesky rapid growth of cells, and my overambition, I ended up with a considerable number of experiments to do (with the help of my student Michael). Anyways, when all this was done, i was left somewhat intellectually drained (whose that sniggering at the back) and it was all I could do to drag myself home and actually cook something to eat. On the other hand, I was unfortunately waylaid with a rather nasty cold this week starting with a mother of a sore throat on Sunday and going all the way through to today with a nasty blocked nose, sneezing and coughs galore. It wasn't a pretty sight (especially with the dryness and the cracking of the lips - probably the worst thing i hate about a cold). Thankfully, it may be on the way out (or at least i hope so) after some rest, lots of vitamin C (i.e. fruit juice). With any luck, this will give me renewed vigour and imagination to have plenty of things to talk about next week. Maybe. Possibly. Or perhaps not.

Till then, constant reader.

Good night!

No Smoke...

It was something of a milestone event that took place in Charleston last week when the local council read for the first time a bill that will ban smoking in restaurants, bars and public buildings. Whilst this does not mean it will become law - it has to go through the process another two times - it is a significant step in the right direction. Of course, this has been met with the usual reactions on both side of the argument - happiness from the anti-smokers, with anger and cries of hypocrisy from the side of the pro-smokers. Being a non-smoker, i'm of a tendency to side with them anyway, but also given that i have worked bar in the past, i am far more on the side of such workers. Whilst I agree that it is entirely up to the individual if they want to smoke or not, i do not see why workers in places rife with smoke should be subjected to it, particularly if they do not smoke themselves. Of course, the pro-smokers point to their being no real evidence that passive smoking can lead to lung diseases and all that, and indeed some studies say otherwise (paid for by the smoking companies no less). Regardless of this or not, just because they wish to inhale the 100s of chemicals in cigarettes, doesn't mean that the rest of us have to as well. Some bars have complained about the law - saying that it will affect their business, yet this does not seem to be the case in California or places such as New York when such bans occurred. Indeed, it seems that people were considerably happier being able to go out and drink, and dine and not come back with a thin layer of tar over their clothes, and that horrible smell that hangs around for an eternity. No, I think that a smoking ban in public buildings is all good. Let the smokers hang around outside and maybe, just maybe, people will come to their senses and realise exactly how damaging it is to their health in general. Here's hoping.

All Done

So, after eleven fun days with my Dad, the day finally arrived when he had to go back to reality and the UK - probably a good thing given that the weather the past couple of days had been somewhat reminiscent of home. Anyway, at 9.30 or so, I duly left work to give him a ride to the airport. After a quick coffee, and news of delays thanks to weather at Newark airport (wind, snow, rain - the usual suspects), I headed back to the lab and left Dad to his fate. Of course, I naturally spent some time at my computer repeatedly tracking his progress at various points on the way (i love using the real time flight trackers - very fun!) to make sure he got back in one piece. Thankfully, the number i gave him to call me seemed to work this time so we managed to speak when he had got to Newark in one piece. As I type this now, he's somewhere over the Atlantic ocean, or rather he should be - according to flight trackers, he's delayed. Anyway, for me it's been a thoroughly fun two weeks (or therabouts) and now, i guess, i have to really throw myself back into work and try and get as much done before i head off to California for a conference in March (seems like a long way away, but it'll soon be here, believe me). Hopefully, now, with my Dad having made it over here, other friends and family won't have so much of an excuse not to come and visit me themselves. Anyways, here are a couple of pics from the last week or two. Enjoy.



Dad, attempting to look American and blend in.



Me and a new friend.



My Dad trying to find the right way home.

On Food....

Of course, with having a visitor in town, this is the ideal excuse to eat out on as many occasions as humanly possible. Well, perhaps not quite - after all my Dad is a Yorkshireman and is naturally thrifty so i've also been doing some cooking myself, but we've still dined out for lunch and dinner on a fair few occasions. Alas, we haven't been anywhere new to me - so i can't offer my opinions on a different dining experience. Not that this is a grumble at all - the places we have been are some of my favourite and have been very good indeed, both in the food, the atmosphere and largely the service as well so no complaints at all. My Dad's favourite place was Basil - the Thai restaurant (considered the best Thai restaurant in Charleston) and so we're due to go back there tomorrow night for his last evening in town.

One thing that has made me smile throughout all this has been Dad's reaction to the size of the portions on one hand, and the sheer number of food outlets on the other. He has frequently mumbled about eating more here in the last couple of days than he would eat in a week at home! I also managed to persuade him to try some American and Southern things - fried green tomatoes, grits, cornbread, Key lime pie, Pecan pie and of course iced tea (something that he had sworn never to try). They all went down pretty well. It can certainly be said that he's had a good variety of food - and all of it excellent quality. For some reason he seemed surprised that i knew so many good places. I wonder what he was implying.

The Queen

One of the things that I had wanted to do whilst my Dad was over here was to go to the movies a couple of times. It's not the sort of thing he tends to do back in the UK by himself, so I thought it would be a good chance. Thus, the first evening he was here, we went to see James Bond (apologies if i've mentioned this already) and yesterday I thought it would be a nice idea to go and see the film 'The Queen' given that it was on at a local cinema that caters to the more independent films crowd. Thus, off we went. Whilst the theatre initially looked like it was going to be virtually empty (we were the only ones there with about 10 mins to screen time), it actually filled up pretty quickly such that it was about half full. The only slight annoyance throughout the film was the presence of an American gentleman behind my right ear who seemed to think it necessary to offer single sentence pronouncements at random intervals throughout the film. I had to resist the urge to turn around and give him 'a look' (TM).

I quite enjoyed the film as a whole - and it certainly bought back a lot about the time of Princess Diana's death (for those who don't know, it depicts the week following the accident and the behind-the-scenes wrangling between Downing St and Buckingham Palace) - it actually surprised me how much I could remember about it. Whilst it is indeed a fiction based on real-life events, it is a reasonable extrapolation of what could have happened; certainly, some of the headlines and issues bought up in the film were very familiar about the whole time. The acting is largely excellent - the gentleman portraying Tony Blair is spot on, and Helen Mirren is fabulous as her majesty. At the end of it all, though, when we were leaving the theatre and i was half-listening to other's thoughts on it all, I was certainly left with the impression that both my Dad and I, being British, appreciated the film on a couple more levels than the non-British. I guess that's to be expected. Anyway, i certainly recommend the film.

Wanderings

Well, it has to be said that since my Dad arrived in town, we've done a fair amount of walking about. The day after his arrival, we went driving off to various points in and around Charleston and did a good deal of strolling - along the beach; round the malls (looking for a digital camera for him, and trainers for me) and around town. The other day we went for an evening stroll that turned into an evening three and a half mile walk. Suffice to say, SOMEONE'S grumbling about it (and it isn't me!). The next day, we went off to the Isle of Palms beach and then up over the Ravenel bridge and back - as you can see from the photo.



Today, we made it down to Savannah, Georgia (for my second time there) and in a dramatic break, we got a bus tour round the city. However, after that we resumed strolling down the river front and around a good number of the squares before we headed back up to South Carolina. Of course, my Dad has been doing a good deal more than I - when i've had to go to work, he's been content to stroll around town on various routes. But then i am doing lots of running for the 10K Bridge Run so i reckon it evens out. Anyway, I have to say that it reminded me how nice it is to walk - something that I, perhaps, have been neglecting to do from time to time. I think I may have just formed a belated New Year's Resolution!!

What's in a name??

There are many things that i have wondered about over my time in the US but, in all honesty, i've not got round to writing about. One of these was something bought up my Father on one of our few driving trips around the city - namely, the American habit of naming almost anything possible. Okay, so naming buildings and bridges after people is fair enough - I don't have a problem there. Putting up memorials to people or plaques on buildings telling people information about famous people or historical figures who have lived there is also fine with me - even if the joke along the Eastern seaboard of 'George Washington slept here' seems to be somewhat ironically true wherever you go. What I find more perplexing is the naming of the roads. Now don't get me wrong, naming streets are roads like, say, Sam Rittenberg Boulevard (Highway 7 here) or Calhoun Street, Jonathan Lucas Street seems okay. But for some reason I don't know how thrilled the right person would be when he has a section of, say, Highway 526 named as the '...' freeway or expressway. It just feels a bit....tacky?? Is that right, I don't know.

What I find even more amusing is the naming of interchanges (junctions) of the freeways after a people - thus we have the Lucille... interchange at the end of the Ravenel bridge. And it doesn't stop there - dotted along Interstate 26 are a number of named interchanges. It makes me wonder if the so-named dignitaries were present at the ceremony of the opening/naming of their interchanges. And then, I have to say, should we stop there. Why not name park benches, or litter bins. Perhaps a few lamposts or traffic lights could be monikered for some local dignitaries (I certainly can think of a few such 'deserving' individuals). In all this, I am reminded of an old computer game for the Amiga - 'Colonization' whereby the score at the end of the game is interpreted into the naming of an item after the person - be it an insect, bridge, drink, card game, illness or you name it....(excuse the pun!)

Otherwise Engaged (Apparently)

It seems to have become a common occurence lately for many of the locals to ask me if i'm married or something along those lines - how long have i been married, where is your wife, does your wife like it here etc. etc. etc. Somewhat perplexed at all this initially (and, indeed, this has been going on for some time before hand as well) I would reply that I was actually not married, which would then elicit apologies and so on and so forth. I then realised that the reason for this was the fact that i wear a ring on my right hand that is in fact a men's wedding band. Now I won't go into why i wear the ring too in depth - in short, it's to remember my grandmother (my father's mother). When I wanted to get a ring, I wanted a plain gold ring and the only one's I could find were wedding bands. However, I wear this on my RIGHT hand, albeit on the 'wedding' finger. It seems that a number of Americans are aware that in some European countries, the rings are worn on the right hand and not the left, and so assume that it is the same in the UK, which is fair enough I suppose. In some cases, when i've replied that i'm not married, people have then gone on to think that i'm divorced.

In general, I don't mind people getting confused with the whole ring on hand thing - it's an honest mistake. What perhaps surprises me more is that perfect strangers feel quite comfortable just turning around and asking me something relatively personal as 'how does your wife like it here' etc. etc. This is certainly something that I don't think would ever happen in the UK (correct me if i'm wrong) and so I find it unnerving in the least. I mean, it's not like I meet someone over here and automatically start inquiring about aspects of their personal life after a few minutes. Okay, if the spouse happens to be present, then fair enough (at a party, say) but in the middle of the hospital restaurant this tends not to be the case. At least for the staff. In short, this post is perhaps about the difference between some Americans and the Brits in terms of how forward people can be. Whilst I consider myself to be quite open and extrovert, I still find myself somewhat taken aback by this. What do you think??

The 'Old Man'

So, with January 8th all but upon us (i.e. TOMORROW), I'm looking forward to welcoming my father to Charleston on his first trip out of the UK for, ooooh, about 14 and a half years (if memory serves me correct, it was in July of 1992 when we visited Menorca). No surprises, then, that this will also be his first trip to the USA so it should definitely be an interesting one. Looking at the tile, he's probably going to kill me for it (in my defence, I did but ' ' around the old man bit, but i don't think that'll matter. Oh well. I'll try and explain it's a term of endearment). Anyway, with his visit impending, I have duly tidied and scrubbed my apartment from top to bottom (well, from about my height downwards as he won't be able to see any higher) and am praying that Jasper doesn't go on a crazy 'destroy everything' rampage tomorrow when i'm at work. By my watch, it's less than 22 hours till touchdown in Charleston so if he does, i guess i'm screwed!

Of course, this trip is not without it's concerns from my end. Whenever my Dad has flown before, he's not been overly fond of it and they were considerably shorter flights (3 and a half hours and less) compared to the 7 hour one facing him tomorrow. Added to that the fact that we only ever had direct flights and that he has to change tomorrow and you can understand my apprehension. I guess i should be glad that he's flying in and out of the same terminal at the same airport so there's not TOO much room for error. I just hope that he remembers to get on the plane to Charleston, SC and not Charleston, West Virginia (this happened to a friend of mine when she was in a hurry one time) although i've told him about 15 times in the past three days so he should remember!! Anyway, if my postings are a bit less frequent over the next few days, you'll know why. However, given that i am pretty accustomed to the US, this may give me a resurgence in material as I get the chance to observe my Dad's reactions to everything. Watch this space!!

Resolutions

Of course, with New Year comes the age-old tradition of making a few resolutions that you intend to stick to for the coming 12 months and usually make it through at the very most 12 days before everyone of them has crumbled and you can spend the remainder of 2007 wallowing in your own guilt and self-pity. A friend of mine once decreed that New Year resolutions were utterly pointless as, if you wanted to resolve to change your lifestyle in some way, why on earth wait until New Year? I did try and point out that people see New Year as a 'fresh start/new beginning' type of thing but he (quite accurately) pointed out that it's just an excuse and people who use it are rarely taking things seriously. That said, i usually try and make one resolution myself - although these are invariably not along the lines of 'I will do this...' but more 'I will continue to do....' whatever it may be. I tend to find that these are more successful. That said, with a number of people back in the UK suggesting that I may becoming more americanised (ha!), I thought i would make a few resolutions on here (with you all as witnesses) to ensure that this is not the case.

1) I will not consume McDonalds, Burger King, Arbys, Ruby Tuesdays, Hardees, KFC, Taco Bell or any other food that you can get within less than two minutes and rarely tastes better than it's cardboard or plastic container.

2) I will resist the urge to drive everywhere including anywhere within a radius of 20 minutes walking distance. If people offer me lifts, I shall politely decline and say that I want to walk.

3) I will not drink more than 10 cups of coffee in a day.

4) I will not drive whilst on my cell phone, whilst clearly intoxicated, and I will use my indicators at all times. Furthermore, I shall not splash unsuspecting pedestrians with water 'just for a laugh'

5) I will not pay for anything less than $10 total value with my credit card and then wonder why the overloaded person behind me is getting somewhat angry when it keeps getting rejected and i have to go through all of my other 8 credit cards.

6) I will not cheerfully ask 'how are you doing?' when I am really just being polite and do not want to hear a response. Further to this, if I do say this by mistake, I shall listen sincerely to the other person's woes and not launch into my own diatribe.

7) Finally, I will not insist that "American Idol" is the best show on TV and will further resist calling in repeatedly in case they decide to renew it for another 15 seasons.

And there we have them. If anyone has some more resolutions to add to this, please feel free to do so.

Indications

These days, it seems that every time i sit down to write something for my blog that i end up back on my current recurring topic of driving in and around Charleston - particularly how bad it seems to be. Now, I stress again, that the driving in the UK is far from perfect, and the same probably goes true for many parts of the world (Italy take note). There are, frankly, bad drivers wherever you go in the world but, at this very moment in time, a large amount seem to be congregating in and around Charleston. Which brings us to my current pet hate - worse even than the incessant chatter of people on cell phones as they drive, the annoyance of people changing lanes at a whim, and even more of a pain than the drivers who seem to delight in speeding up as i attempt to cross the road. Yep, i'm talking about the singular lack of use of indicators ('turn signals' as they are monikered here) by all and sundry. No matter whether they're turning right, left, pulling over, pulling out, parking in a car park, or you name it, virtually everyone seems incapable of taking the second or so it takes to flick the indicators on. And, hey, they don't seem to realise that cars will actually turn the indicators off and so they don't have to expend those extra few calories reaching up themselves.

Now this may seem like me being really petty but i would put good money that i am not alone in this opinion. The fact that you are left confused as to why someone is slowing down when they're doing so to turn, when you have people cutting in front of you at junctions. In the latter case, this happened to me recently in the dark with some stupid idiot who thought it would be also useful to have his lights off as well. The fact that his car was a dark colour, and that he decided to leisurely crawl across the oncoming traffic not withstanding, I was lucky that the area around him was reasonably well lit (itself unusual in places) and I saw him well in advance otherwise it could've been nasty. In a country where so many cars are bought purely on their size and power (i'm talking about the people carriers, the SUVs and the huge trucks), it makes me think that people are so convinced that no-one is going to mess with them that they can do what they like, indicators be damned, and everyone else has to like it. Well, in such cases, i fervently believe that what goes around comes around.

Happy New Year

To all readers - wishing you a healthy, happy and prosperous 2007. I know for many that the sooner 2006 is gone, the better. Let's hope the next one turns things around!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!