Stamps

Picture the following scene, if you will. It's a Sunday, and i'm in the middle of a big list of things that i have to do. Having just spent a fun hour going round the supermarket (it usually takes me 30 mins but for some reason everyone was just getting in the way today), i decide to nip into the card shop next door before i hurry back to the lab, and the gym. In short, I'm in a bit of a hurry. Having decided to send Christmas cards back home to the UK this year, i think it would be a good idea to get stamps. After patiently waiting in line at the till as the woman in front went through the excrutiating ritual of counting out her money in virtually five and ten cent pieces, it's my turn. I step forward and put my purchases on the counter.

Me: 'Could I just ask, do you sell stamps?'

Cashier (a 40-something year old woman with Farah hair): What?

Me: Do you sell stamps?

Cashier: I don't understand.

Me: Stamps (mimes putting stamp on envelope)

Cashier: Sto-umps? (Phonetic)

Me: Postage Stamps. To send mail.

Cashier: Oh! You mean stay-umps (laughs) Oh, i didn't realise you had an accent (no s**t, I think). I bet you don't understand a word of what i'm saying either (Where the hell does she think i'm from? Outer Mongolia?).

Anyway, i get my stay-umps and, once she figures out how to work the till, i get my stuff and am on my way. However, I remembered a phrase that someone once said back in the 80s, i think it was. Something about the US and UK being two countries separated by a common language. I'm thinking they MAY have had a point.